Restless Milk-Bottle Gams in an Office Chair

Work is impossible to get done when the weather is shitty. 

When things are gray out, so is your mind. 

When you feel inexplicable sadness, and a dark gaping whole in your life that you feel you will never fill, and you can't explain why (oh, is that you, Seasonal Affective Disorder? So aptly abbreviated SAD), writing a cheesy text about how some corporate headquarters project greatly improves the quality of life and productivity of its employees by providing ample daylight and collaborative spaces just seems like bullshit. I'm sitting by a giant window in an open-plan office, and everyone around me looks like they're about to head up to the roof to swan-dive off in an attempt to end the constant gray, landing in a splatter of carnage for the drone-like cyclists to dodge on the street below. 

Ok.That's a mild exaggeration. But, only mild. 

Well, it turns out you can't win. 

Now the weather is incredible. I decided to blind the office and let out my milk-bottle gams today (these bad-boys haven't seen the light of day in about 8 months. Not even once in 8 months. Thomas just demanded that I spray-tan before letting them out again. Super rude! And that would just be cheating!), and spent my lunch break poured over a lawn-chair, soaking up every lick of sun possible. All we could talk about was where the sun would be strongest when we get off of work, so we can plan our "boozing in the park" accordingly. I'm supposed to be reading a brief about some urban-regeneration housing project in London right now, but all I can think about is sun, summer, beers, BBQing, bikinis, swimming, tennis, laughter, going for a run, cycling around, and damnit, that's not productive either! Plus, the sun is so bright, it's blocked off about half of my computer screen

Get me out of this office! I've got 4 hours left to go before it's acceptable to leave. Maybe 3, if I really push it today. 

I'm clearly the worst employee ever. Look, I'm blogging on the job (I hope my boss sees this post. I'm so sorry! I've never done this before! Ever ever! I swear!). I can't help it. I take no responsibility. I blame it on the weather.